They were trapped in a painful cycle…
When Alina and Marcus first reached out for therapy, it was on the heels of yet another painful argument. This time, it had started over something small—a missed phone call, a late dinner—but somehow spiraled into days of silence and resentment. Alina felt invisible. Marcus felt like nothing he did was ever enough. They weren’t strangers to conflict, but lately, everything felt raw. Exhausting. Familiar. They both kept saying, “I love you,” but neither of them felt loved.
When Alina and Marcus first came to therapy, they were sitting at opposite ends of the couch—physically present, emotionally miles apart. Every conversation seemed to spiral into defensiveness or silence. Alina felt abandoned every time Marcus withdrew during a disagreement. Marcus felt overwhelmed and inadequate, unsure how to help without making things worse.
Both still loved each other. But love alone wasn’t enough to bridge the gap that had formed. They were stuck in a loop—one that felt so familiar, yet impossible to break. And they were tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of misunderstanding each other. Tired of feeling like they were on different teams.
They tried to communicate. They read books. They promised to listen better. But somewhere between intention and impact, things kept falling apart. “We’re speaking two different languages,” Alina finally said in one session. And Marcus quietly nodded.
Therapy became the place where things started to shift.
At the Integrative Trauma Collective, couples therapy isn’t about figuring out who’s right or wrong—it’s about understanding the deeper story that lives underneath the conflict. We take an attachment-based, emotion-focused approach to help couples reconnect, repair, and rediscover each other in a way that feels safe and emotionally honest.
Healing starts with understanding what is behind the conflict
Most couples don’t come to therapy because they don’t love each other. They come because something is getting in the way of expressing that love safely. Often, those barriers are rooted in each partner’s history—childhood dynamics, past relationships, trauma, or attachment wounds. One person may have learned to shut down when things feel overwhelming, while the other learned to fight harder for closeness. These opposing survival strategies create conflict and misunderstanding, leaving both people feeling unseen.
In couples therapy, we bring compassion and curiosity to those patterns—not to assign blame, but to understand what’s happening underneath. From there, we create space for empathy and emotional safety.
Every couple has a unique rhythm, a relational “dance” shaped by each partner’s individual wounds, defenses, and longings. Sometimes, this dance becomes tangled in missteps: criticism meets defensiveness, silence meets protest, distance meets desperation. We help you slow down this dance, examine it together, and learn where you’re stepping on each other’s toes—often unintentionally.
We work to create a corrective emotional experience, where you both can practice responding to each other in new, healing ways. This isn’t about surface-level communication tools. It’s about helping you both feel felt—understood in your pain and empowered in your growth.
We are all wired for connection
“At the core of our work is attachment theory—the understanding that we are wired for connection, and that our early relationships shape how we show up in love. ”
In couples therapy, we explore how each partner’s attachment style impacts the relationship: how one person might pull away to protect themselves, while the other reaches out anxiously, fearing abandonment. These responses often come from a place of pain, not malice. When left unexamined, they form reactive loops that leave both partners feeling unmet and alone. In our work together, we hold space for these patterns with compassion—not to pathologize, but to understand.
Through gentle exploration and intentional repair, we help each partner feel safer to turn toward rather than away from one another. Over time, this builds a more secure bond, where vulnerability is met with warmth, and where both of you can begin to trust that closeness is safe again.
Through therapy, we uncover how early attachment patterns, trauma histories, and unspoken fears show up in your relationship. One partner may shut down not because they don’t care, but because they’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t safe. Another might demand closeness not to control, but to soothe a deep fear of abandonment. These patterns can create cycles that are painful—but also changeable.
Rebuilding connection with time and care
We help couples slow down enough to really hear each other. That might mean learning to speak from a place of emotion rather than blame, or to stay grounded in the face of your partner’s pain. We facilitate corrective emotional experiences—moments when you risk being vulnerable and are met not with rejection, but with care.
These moments are what create lasting change. You begin to rewrite the old story: “When I’m upset, they’ll leave,” becomes “When I’m upset, they’ll lean in.” Little by little, those moments build trust. And when trust grows, so does joy, intimacy, and mutual respect.
Emotionally focused couples therapy helps you identify the emotional themes that drive your conflict. We explore the needs, fears, and unmet longings underneath the surface. In this process, we aim for more than just stopping the fights—we aim to help you feel safer together. More open. More seen.
Together, we practice:
Understanding and changing the negative cycle you’re stuck in
Expressing emotions and needs more clearly and compassionately
Rebuilding safety after betrayals or ruptures
Strengthening intimacy, trust, and emotional connection
Learning how your pasts shape your present—and how to write a new future
We don’t just talk about change. We help you practice it, moment by moment, in the room. Sometimes that means one partner finally saying what they’ve been too afraid to name, and the other finally hearing it with an open heart. That’s where the healing begins.
It is never too late to heal
This Work Is for You If…
You find yourselves stuck in the same arguments again and again
You long for connection but don’t know how to reach each other anymore
You’ve experienced a rupture—infidelity, loss, betrayal—and want to repair
You want to deepen intimacy, rebuild trust, or prepare for the next chapter
You’re navigating a transition—parenthood, relocation, cultural pressures—and want support
Whether you’re dating, engaged, partnered, or married—whether you’re trying to rebuild after betrayal or simply feel distant without knowing why—this space is for you.
You don’t need to be on the brink of separation to seek support. You just need to be willing to explore your patterns and find new ways to move together.
Let’s help you rediscover your rhythm—not the one shaped by fear or habit, but the one shaped by love, safety, and genuine connection.